Conservative vs Liberal
Posted by mytimbuk2 on January 10, 2010
I couldn’t determine where this originally came from, but it’s right-on!
If a conservative doesn’t like guns,
he doesn`t buy one.
If a liberal doesn’t like guns,
he wants all guns outlawed.If a conservative is a vegetarian,
he doesn`t eat meat.
If a liberal is a vegetarian,
he wants all meat products banned
for everyone.If a conservative is homosexual,
he quietly leads his life.
If a liberal is homosexual,
he demands legislated respect.If a conservative is down-and-out,
he thinks about how to better his situation.
A liberal wonders who is going
to take care of him.If a conservative doesn’t like a talk show host, he switches channels.
Liberals demand that those they don’t like
be shut down.If a conservative is a non-believer,
he doesn’t go to church.
A liberal non-believer wants any mention
of God and religion silenced.
(Unless it’s a foreign religion, of course !)If a conservative decides he needs health care, he goes about shopping for it,
or may choose a job that provides it.
A liberal demands
that the rest of us pay for his.If a conservative reads this,
he’ll forward it
so his friends can have a good laugh.
A liberal will delete it
because he’s “offended”.
GazeToTheRight 
Ben Hoffman said
Here are some more:
If a conservative doesn’t like guns, he’s not a real conservative and is branded a wuss.
If a liberal doesn’t like guns, he might want to ban guns, but most only want to ban assault weapons.
If a conservative is a vegetarian… What are you, kidding me? A conservative vegetarian? Ha!
If a liberal is a vegetarian, who cares.
If a conservative sees a foreign threat, he thinks about how his political party can capitalize on it.
A liberal wonders how to solve the problem without getting anybody killed.
If a conservative is homosexual, he hates himself but likes underage boys.
If a liberal is homosexual, he wants the same rights as everyone else.
If a black man or Hispanic is conservative, he’s a nut-job just like the white conservative nut-jobs.
Their liberal counterparts are varied in their outlooks.
If a conservative is down-and-out, he blames liberals and minorities for his problems.
A liberal goes to college and develops skills that will make him prosperous.
If a conservative doesn’t like a talk show host, he rants, raves, and complains until he’s blue in the face about what he believes to be anti-American socialist/fascist ideas, or whatever else the right-wing pundits told him to believe.
Liberals are too busy with their careers to pay much attention to talk-shows.
If a conservative is a non-believer… What are you, kidding me? A non-religious conservative? Ha!
A liberal non-believer doesn’t want his child indoctrinated by religious nut-jobs.
If a conservative decides he needs health care, he goes on Medicare and demands the government keep its hands off it.
A liberal wants affordable health care for all, insurance company CEOs be damned!
And even more at this link:
mytimbuk2 said
More liberal bunk.
Mark Ward said
RE: Ben’s “Liberals are too busy with their careers to pay much attention to talk-shows.”
Totally agree! Busy with a lot of careers that revolve around how to increasingly meddle in other people’s lives and engage in legal theft of other people’s money.
Robert Wilson said
Dear Mr. Hoffman,
I’m amazed at how easily “nut-job” rolls through your lexicon. It leads me to believe it was the first word you must have heard from your mother.
It pains me to think how lonely you must be with no spiritual connections except to the “annointed one”. You obviously were “taught” in public school. You don’t realize the socialist, dare I say marxist glob that has been compressed into your skull. When the liberal elites achieve the supreme power they are striving for, they will turn on you as they already have on conservatives and the Constitution. You will be nothing more than a numbered zombie. Well, you already are but they still need your vote.
I caution you not to make any mistakes against the state. It’s rumored that you’ll be put in a sound proof room and have to listen to Rush Limbaugh 24/7. That’s why I’m going to continue to speak out. I want noticed by the gestapo so I can have my turn in that delightful room! I won’t have to listen to lies spewing from your “immaculate leader”!
Big Gay AL said
Gee, I see one problem with Mr. Hoffman’s list already. I’m a conservative (well, mostly) and I’m a non-believer. 🙂 Actually, I believe in something, I’m just not sure yet what it is.
R.D.Wylie said
You are batting 1000 keep on!!!
cpmonitor said
from: http://drudgeretort.wordpress.com/2009/10/06/differences-between-liberals-and-conservatives/
These make far more sense
DRUDGE RETORT
Personal attacks on writers and commenters of this blog are prohibited.
Differences Between Liberals and Conservatives
with 7 comments
A liberal is willing to fight for liberty.
A conservative is willing to give up liberty for security.
If a liberal doesn’t believe that abortion is morally acceptable, she doesn’t have one.
If a conservative doesn’t believe that abortion is morally acceptable, he or she wants to prevent anyone from having one.
When a liberal asks where he gets his news, he’ll give legitimate sources such as the N.Y. Times or Washington Post.
When a conservative asks where he gets his news, he won’t usually answer because it’s not from legitimate news sources.
A liberal sees wrong and tries to right it.
A conservative sees wrong and if it involves another conservative, he claims it’s biased.
A liberal believes most foreign policy issues are best dealt with by taking diplomatic measures.
A conservative believes we should bomb first and ask questions later.
A liberal doesn’t mind his hard earned money going to legitimate government programs.
A conservative hates all things government, but doesn’t mind his hard earned money going towards multi-million dollar bonuses for CEOs.
When a liberal thinks about education, he thinks about college.
When a conservative thinks about education, he thinks about grade school and high school.
A liberal knows that a fact is information that is verifiable.
A conservative thinks a fact is something you can link to. It might be just somebody’s opinion, but if you can link to it, he believes it’s acceptable to use it as a “fact.”
A liberal debates with facts.
A conservative debates by insulting the other person.
A liberal evaluates information and forms an opinion.
A conservative gets his opinions from right-wing pundits.
A liberal debates by citing events that have occurred.
A conservative debates by predicting events he believes will occur.
A liberal debates using facts.
A conservative debates the facts.
Mark Ward said
Gee. I don’t know what to say except maybe this: From my view, every vignette or generality espoused in the above is backwards. The theorems are black and white; no room for grey. Your either or. Your either my friend OR your my foe. This is kindergarten/flash card rhetoric. Good for mathematics and rote history, but not very useful for social or hard sciences.
Here’s one that can be proven from research:
Liberals continually demonstrate that they do not hesitate to collect by force of government and use other peoples money to selectively enforce charity. Therefore, Liberals are good at spending (other people’s) money. And when they give, it is usually for setting up mechanisms to collect even more of other people’s money.
Conservatives generally believe true charity is an expression of principled love toward their fellow man, is voluntary, and is focused on individual giving. Consequently, Conservatives create more wealth and give much more of their own money to charitable causes. (This is verified by studying U.S. tax returns.)
Conservative Pup said
“…legitimate sources such as the N.Y. Times or Washington Post.”
I wonder if Mr. Hoffman knows that the NYTimes is largely owned by Carlos Slim, a Mexican billionaire, whose shady corporate dealings over the past year have not been mentioned in the NYT, while they’ve been extensively covered in other prominent business publications. It seems that Mr. Slim bought a major newspaper’s silence, and at the same time, killed any hope of that paper having any credibility. Mr. Hoffman, the New York Times lost its credibility long ago.
Great post, and great blog! Keep up the great work.
greg said
Im a liberal and yet still agree with alot of the things you mention in this. Im just a little confused about the line “(Unless it’s a foreign religion, of course !)” are u insinuating that we only have a problem with Native American spirituality because thats the least foreign religion in America. So before you go hating on so called foreign religions yours is probably just as foreign.
Mark Ward said
Greg — The original above expressed idea you are referring to went like this:
If a conservative is a non-believer,
he doesn’t go to church.
A liberal non-believer wants any mention
of God and religion silenced.
(Unless it’s a foreign religion, of course !)
It appears that the writer was trying to get across the idea that generally goes like this: All other religions, other than the popular notion of Christianity which around 80-85% of those Americans surveyed “claim” they are or supportive of, seem to be beyond criticism or legal attack. Yet other than “Christian” religions from a “foreign” source — particularly militant Islam — get a free pass from Liberals; even when such “religions” advocate doing away with practically all their cherished institutions and ways of life and advocate establishing a theocracy — a characteristic Liberals regularly and erroneously attribute to right-wing fundamentalist “Christians”. At least in the Christian text (the Bible), the government to be ultimately established on earth is to be lead by a Creator, a spiritual being (“The Great Spirit”). In Islam however, the worldwide government/caliphate is to be established and operated by faithful Islamic men. While so-called “Christianity” may be viewed by SOME Liberal non-believers as a fantasy that needs to be somehow expunged not only from government but from our entire national life, why do they let, yes, let those of a religious system that is plainly antithetic and genocidal toward freedom (which should be a Liberal tenet) prosper or expand (at I might say at the expense of “Christians” and Jews).
Finally, if I can see properly where you are coming from, I can see that some Native Americans could view that almost everything of non-Native American culture — including religion — would be “foreign”, since tribes are supposed to be separate and unique nations or peoples. But the other side of the coin is that I, as an “American Citizen” (born from immigrants who came here in the 1700s) and a non-Native American tribal descendant, can in the present reality (USA is here and now) view all of you and what you do or are as “foreign”. In fact, I would have to in some cases as a matter of present law (treaties, etc.). And, hopefully, I would also remember that when the USA’s founders sought council on how to set up the best form of government, they looked at how some Native Americans governed themselves in the Northeast.
So, as a Conservative who believes that Jesus Christ was indeed THE Son of God, when considering what Native Americans do or do not do or believe, I don’t think of the word “foreign”. It’s just a fact of life that as a Conservative I neither want to become obsessed about or change. Liberals/Progressives on the other hand will get around to you and yours eventually. They love to take or control other people’s wealth to do things they want. LAND TOO!
Gary Hetherington said
In Canada especially and specifically in the province of New Brunswick a minority language has been forced on the population by Liberals and coward Conservatives . Applicants for employment are first screened for their ability to speak the minority language (French) and then the best of those left standing are chosen for employment.
The proponents of this forced language legislation are quick to note that bilingualism is a mark of Canadian identity that differentiates Canadians from Americans . It is those people who struggle with their Canadian identity by stating how different Canadians are in comparison to America. They believe multiculturalism unites Canadians creating hyphonated-Canadians and cultural differences not assimulating into the Canadian fabric .
Bilingualism in Canada is not the case in province of Quebec where there are language laws to make French the legal language . Penalities and language police are used to enforce these unilingual language laws . Even signage on private businesses and government road signs is unliingual and enforced by language laws .